Having FUN Skate 2 style

Hats off to EA. They’ve sprung back from a few releases that weren’t too well received to produce Skate 2, a really cool sequel to the original game that came along and gave the Tony Hawk franchise the finger around two years ago.

Hey, Tony... skate THIS!

Skate 2 proves a point that I like to make – particularly after a few beers – about what games should be. The free roaming aspect of the game is great, because it allows the player to do pretty much whatever the fuck they want to within a really big environment. While the new tricks and the ability to get off the board and the new multiplayer aspects are cool, it comes down, in the end, to doing whatever, whenever.

That’s what the Hawk games never got quite right. To those games, the player had to be the biggest and best, the total top dog on a  massive pile of accomplished skate boarders. That’s not the case with Skate 2 (and it wasn’t the case with Skate, er… 1, either.) Now, the player just gets to have fun, and that, friends and neighbours, is what playing games is all about. The person that decided gaming should be competitive should be dragged out into the street and shot like the lame dick dog he is. Competition is healthy, but the real truth is that it should play a very quiet second fiddle to the fact that games are fun. Really. It should.

I grow increasingly tired of little wet-behind-the-ears arseholes spouting their gamer score like it was some kind of real achievement, or boasting about the fact that they are a “leet playa” who can beat anyone at any game. Grow up. Get a life. Get laid. Fuck off. If you are the type of person that thinks achievement in competitive gaming is important, you are an idiot. Sure, there are a handful of guys out there who actually make money off of it, but they are a few within millions. Gaming is not a viable career choice, never was, never will be. Gaming is entertainment, pure and simple, and entertainment is supposed to be about enjoyment and fun. It’s that simple, and if you don’t agree with me, you’re wrong.

Anyway, back to Skate 2. I have to admit that the best part of the game for me is actually a multiplayer activity, and one of those that can be played on the same machine. It’s called Hall of Meat and the main aim is to make your character wipe out. Up to four players can take part in this seemingly senseless activity, and it takes a whole different kind of skill o pull it off successfully. With limited time, the player needs to figure out the best way to cause the most damage to their character, because that’s what the whole thing is about. Character deformation would have been nice, but the fact that you can be rewarded for nailing your skater into a curbside and sending them flying into the nearest immovable object is really fun, and very fucking funny.

Overall, great stuff, and lots of fun to be had. Skate has had most of the wrinkles ironed out, and is an improvement over the last Skate game. It’s well worth the cost. And it’s fun. FUN. Remember fun? FUN!

Pass the ammo, please…

Seeing as how it is a really slow period for games – part of that lovely yearly cycle that means there is nothing much new on the way until March – I am going to look at a few titles that are a bit older, but not so old that no-one is buying them anymore. Or maybe they will be that old. Don’t know. Don’t care. You’ll just have to accept what I write and be happy with it. Be happy that I am writing at all, damn it.

So… let’s see. Ah, here’s a good one. Fallout 3. You’ve read all the reviews already. Long awaited, revolutionary, compelling, deep, yada yada.

What I really want to know about this game, I mean really, is where the fuck is all the ammo? OK, sure, run with the argument that it’s meant to be short on ammo to reinforce the devastation of the future, the desperation of the times, blah blah blah. That’s crap. And I’ll tell you why.

Ammo... such a useful commodity

See there are all these communities dotted around the bleak and vast landscape, little knots of people that survived the nuclear holocaust that sets the tone for this game. You become quite aware of it as soon as your character leaves the vault that has been his, or her, home for the last… well, since they were born. There is one just down the drag, actually, a little way from where the player starts the game. It’s a place called Megaton, and it is a thriving community.

However, there are also bloodthirsty marauders, raiders and nasty mutants that populate this world, and the only thing that stops them from overrunning these communities is – you guessed it – ammo. See, they respond poorly to verbal abuse, but a good case of lead based aeration of their physical forms tends to stop them from kicking in the door, raping the toaster and making off with all the rat meat. Therefore – and I am applying the special kind of logic that has served me so dubiously for my whole life – there must be ammo somewhere. Someone, some little AI controlled shit, is sitting on piles of it, I guarantee you. And he’s not sharing. I intend to replay the game and find that little bastard. Then, when I have all the ammo, I will run things in the Capitol Wasteland, mark my words.

I also plan to find the place where they bottle all the fizzy drinks. You cannot tell me that in all of old Washington DC there wasn’t one bottling plant. And seeing as how bottle caps have become the de facto currency of the time, I think finding said bottling plant will be a damn good idea. I will have more money than I can eat, and more ammo than God. It would be the perfect way to take on all that open ended goodness, and maybe even survive long enough to see the end of the story.

See, all those skills that you can get for your player, all that lovely character development, it don’t mean shit if you ain’t got bullets. And bottle caps. What’s the point of spending all that time creating an awesome character who has tons of really useful skills when the first mutant with a pop gun that you run into is going to put a hole the size of Chechnya in your skull?

What? Really?

Yes, yes, yes, I know. I have been awfully lazy. I could blame it on the fact that there aren’t a lot of games being released at the moment, or of the fact that I am kinda battling to get into the swing of MMIX, but the plain truth of it is I am being damned lazy. I have a pile of games that I can still write about – seeing as I am of the belief that a game review can never be late, based on the way I have experienced consumer buying habits – and the year is almost into it’s second month. Nope, this is laziness. Bad Joe, bad.

What has prompted me to get up on my soap box and spit out a little bitter stuff is the fact that I am utterly flabbergasted by the fact that the big boss over at Sony Computer Entertainment appears to be an ostrich. He has his head in the sand, that is…

See, a couple of days ago, Kaz Hirai made a statement or two that pretty much fry my noodle. He said, in rather plain terms, that he believes that the PlayStation 3 is the “official” market leader in the current generation console wars.

OK, time to make a point about my views on PlayStation 3. I love my PS3. It is shiny and pretty and fun. I didn’t shell over a huge amount of money to buy one because I disliked it. I believe that it has a lot of potential, and that we will be seeing some pretty awesome games for the console in its proposed ten year life-span. We already have – LittleBigPlanet springs to mind (mental note, review LBP.) What I am about to say has nothing to do with the PlayStation 3. It has to do with Mr Hirai.

Here’s what he said:

“This is not meant in terms of numbers, or who’s got the biggest install base, or who’s selling most in any particular week or month, but I’d like to think that we continue official leadership in this industry.

“It’s difficult to talk about Nintendo, because we don’t look at their console as being a competitor. They’re a different world, and we operate in our world – that’s the kind of way I look at things.

“And with the Xbox – again, I can’t come up with one word to fit. You need a word that describes something that lacks longevity.”

OK. Right. Now I didn’t study economics at all, but I think that there is a certain degree of logic that applies to the whole world that Kaz is just kinda missing here. See, the way I figure it, the market leader is the one that has sold the most product. Right? I mean, it might be a little simplified, but surely the market leader is determined by consumer reaction, at least a little bit.

Because we know that the Xbox 360 has outsold the PS3 by around 8 million units globally. Eight. Mill. Yun. And the Wii has outsold both the Xbox 360 and the PS3 combined. It doesn’t matter what kind of longevity we’re talking, or whether products are in the same “world” or not – when devices share a common purpose, they are competition, and market leaders aren’t the ones playing catch-up.

Just a thought, of course… like I said, I have never studied economics, and I was unaware that “because I say so” plays a part in determining product success.

Not that Far from Home

I started playing Far Cry 2 again the other day. Again. I have yet to finish the game, because sadly I get distracted by other titles. What generally happens is that I get a shit-load of games, give them all the necessary time required, and then go back to play t ones I really want to play. Far Cry 2, it’s at the top of my list.

Almost as good as the real thing... Africa, that is...

Ubisoft really delivered when they put this one together. And they made all the right decisions. First of all, they kept the name when Crytek left. Secondly, they dumped all the stupid sci-fi shit out of the title and made it something that actually comes close to being relevant. Blowing the hell out of everything that moves during an African civil war might not be the best way to highlight the plight of Africans, but at least it’s more important than highlighting the plight of a stricken island overwhelmed by genetic experiments. Thirdly, they made the game utterly immersive, keeping the camera locked into first person view at all times and eliminating the stupid teleporting issue so popular with developers to lazy to figure out how to make it look like a guy is actually opening a friggin’ door.

There’s more to the list, but I have grown bored with that train of thought. To be honest, I would far rather be playing the game than writing about it right now, but I am trying to approach this whole thing responsibly – for once in my life. Beer, pizza and blowing the living fuck outta the bad guys will have to wait a few minutes.

Being an African, it’s nice to see Far Cry 2 set in a realistic version of the continent. It’s almost like really being there… here… oh, whatever. The sights and sounds are really well handled, and the use of authentic languages (including Afrikaans, my mother tongue and the source of much mirth while playing the game) lends it a nice feeling. And then there’s fire.

Fire’s a big thing in Africa. Every year swathes of natural land gets devastated by brush fires. It’s nice to do my part, if only in a virtual way. The guns are cool too, because they are realistic, handle well, and break down after time. Nice idea, although having your AK 47 jam during a fire fight is a little less than convenient in the greater scheme of things.

Nothing like a cheery fire to warm one's bones next to on a chilly African evening...

There’s a lot more I could say about this game, but fuck it. I would rather be playing. Oh, wait – a word of warning. It’s a little on the hard core side of things, and is initially pretty difficult. That’s a good thing, though, because we need to get the casual gamers up there with the hardcore crowd, if only to prove my arguments.

Right, Enough talk. Places to go. People to shoot. Grass to burn.

Lock and load… Santa’s coming!

So the year is working its way up to the biggest commercially exploitative holiday of the calendar. I went to a mall the other day, to pick up some groceries and beer, and noticed that, despite the current macro-economic climate, people were spending a lot of cash. That leads me to believe one of two things. Either, a) things aren’t as bad as economists would have us believe (unlikely) or b) people are thick (very likely.)

Anyway, the big fat man in the Coca-Cola inspired red suit will be making his way down chimneys around the world shortly, leaving presents for undeserving brats who makes their parents lives miserable for 364 days of the year. Whtever. I am over it. The spirit of Christmas died when the first cave man traded something for something else.

But it is a good excuse to get shit-faced and take a break. In fact, there is a New Year on the way too, which is another excuse. Not that I have been churning stuff out at an alarming rate, but hey, any excuse to be lazy. So, the two of you that read this blog will have to just sit back, relax and wait until the New year to get any of my wisdom and razor-edged wit again.

Have a drink on me. Really. As long as you pay for it.

Later…

What’s your poison?

Need Speed?

Need for Speed. It’s been around for a long time. The series has gone through various highs and lows, but it was around the time that the Underground game line kicked in that the series really took off. From that point, the series sort of rocketed upwards, culminating in Most Wanted. From that point, things got a little… dodgy. Carbon wasn’t awesome, to be honest, and ProStreet was… well, fuck that. Tracks? What kind of self respecting, rebellious street racer type puts his whip on a track? Naturally, people bitched, as they do, an so the developers have dragged the game back towards the illegal side of things with the newly released Need for Speed: Undercover.

But not entirely. As the name implies, the player might be actinglike a bad guy, but the character is actually an undercover cop out to bust real criminals. It’s like EA feel guilty about promoting being bad for so many years that they now have to find some kind of justification for allowing bad behaviour in their games. Then again, let’s remember that EA have always been socially conscious… up until recently they had a policy against games for adults. No violence, no swearing, just nice friendly flowers and puppies and sports stars… So you can kinda understand that they want to send a message that says something along the lines of “it’s ok to drive like a complete arsehole if you’re a cop.” Seems to be the case here in South Africa anyway, so we’re not complaining.

Right, so the player takes to the streets and goes around in fancy cars (which still perform like highly tuned speed-machines after being t-boned or driven into a wall, thanks to the cosmetic-only damage model they chose to include in the game yet again.) He baits bad guys and shows them the error of their ways by beating them in races. Oh, so that’s how it works. I thought law enforcement relied on guns and a modicum of brutality, but I am a cynic, so I may be wrong. Obviously in other countries criminals can be subdued by being embarrassed.

Actually, that’s not entirely fair. The player does get to take the main bad guys out by demolishing their vehicles. It’s fun, but not necessarily practical. Bullets are cheaper than Porsches.

OK, OK, I seem to be steadily losing sight of the fact that this is a racing game. It’s just that the whole “undercover cop” thing is a bit… weak. Still, despite all the idiots complaining about it, this is a fun game, with lots of cars to trash and many “rebellious events” to take part in (like destroying public property and being a general ass about things.) It’s fast paced and enjoyable, and at least it isn’t on the track any more. It’s more like Most Wanted, at very least, which is what people wanted.

I have a question though, a nasty cat to throw amongst the well fed and rather sedate pigeons… why can’t the developers of these games figure out how to make a PS3 version that works properly? The Xbox version is fine, but on the PS3 the frame rate becomes slower than your grandparent’s holiday slide shows, making daring driving a bit impossible. Isn’t the PS3 really powerful? Doesn’t it allow for super-duper graphics… oh, hang on, maybe it has to do with the fact that Sony steadfastly insist on using near impossible proprietary coding languages. Well done there.

check out this looping PS3 game play video... oh, wait, it's a screen shot... same difference, really.

Bottom line – if you enjoy fast paced action of the driving sort, complete with limitless ride pimping, you should check this one out. It’s not perfect, but it is fun… as long as you own an Xbox 360. Once again, don’t listen to the “hardcore” game reviewers out there. The only joy these guys get is by trashing stuff that doesn’t meet up to their overly high standards. Fuck ‘em.

Prince of Persia PoPs!

I like Ubisoft, I really do. Particularly Ubisoft Montreal, because they made Far Cry 2, which has been taking up a lot of my time. They also made the new Prince of Persia game, which has provided me with many hours of joy.

But I can just hear all those “hardcore” bottom feeders complaining. Not actually, because I live as far from other specimens of humanity as I can. I mean figuratively. I can hear them saying: “it’s not difficult enough, it’s too simple.” I know they are. I can feel it in my water.

She is hot... and yes, she's checking out his ass...

The truth of the matter is that Prince of Persia is very simple, yes, but that’s part of what makes it such an enjoyable game. Instead of contorting my thumbs and having to deal with a million preplanned moves like with every other Prince title, this one lets me sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. It feels good when I make the character on-screen look impressive, particularly when I am not required to input too many button presses. It’s fun. Remember fun, “hardcore” folks? Remember it? Fun? The thing that gaming is supposed to be? Huh? Do ya?  Because as I remember it, that’s what games are supposed to be about. Maybe I am just getting old, but back in my day, even before there were video game consoles, the other kinds of games we played were about fun. Enjoyment. Relaxation. Entertainment. Not high scores and leaderboards and how many times I can frag dUm84$$.

 

I digress. I often do, but for now I will get back to the topic at hand. Prince of Persia. This game is a prime example of the shift in the industry towards more casual gamers, with an easier style and controls backing up a highly entertaining story (“oh,” say the “hardcore” crowd, “who needs a story… we don’t even read the manual, because pirated games don’t come with manuals.”) The interplay between the two main characters – being a thief, controlled by the player, and a sexy, spell slinging princess trying to save her kingdom – is fantastic, with well scripted, well voice-acted dialogue providing much of the humour in the game. Combining the appealing story (which is a bit predictable, but anyway) with a great play system is key, and that’s what the developers did.

 

The whole game can be called “context sensitive.” Certain buttons will do certain things, of course, but the main action button will make the Prince do the particular thing that is most obvious at that point. OK, he’s not a Prince, he’s a thief. But I am gonna call him the Prince. Live with it. Anyway, pressing the action button will have him jump, wall climb, swing or whatever, based on the current set of circumstances that the character is in. Actions can be extended in a few ways, too, like using the Princess to magically enhance jumping distances, or using wall-mounted rings to perform longer wall-runs. The point is that any of these actions can be done simply and effectively, thanks to the solid control scheme.

Kicking ass and chewing bubblegum is possible with simple controls.

The obvious nature of the movement paths help too. There will not be too many times when the player really has to search for where to go next. Every now and then it might happen, but for the most part the player can effortlessly “glide” through levels, provided those button presses are well timed. Even if they’re not, the player’s character isn’t going to die. A missed jump results in the Princess rescuing the player and depositing him a bit back in the level, while a fuck-up in combat results in the princess blasting the beasty and saving the players skin – at the cost of the bad guy regaining some life. This removes something of a sense of menace from the game, which is probably a bad thing. Still, the game can be frustrating enough without massive death related cut-scenes (yes, that was aimed at you, Too Human) and the player will have plenty of opportunity to miss-time things.

 

Paths and events in the game feel a little linear, to be brutally honest. There are one, maybe two correct ways to get through sections of the huge levels, and when things start falling down, the impression that the player can take their time regardless is rather strong. The game lacks the urgency of the previous Prince of Persia titles. But what it lacks in pressure, it makes up for in scope. The levels are, as said before, huge, and the player needs to collect shiny baubles (called “light seeds”) once each level is completed. These are used to buy necessary upgrades. The freedom granted by this section of the game, where the player will doubtlessly be spending the majority of play time, balances the linearity out quite nicely. In fact, this is as close to “free-roaming” as the series has ever come, and the player is even allowed to select missions in almost any order. Not truly free, no, but a shit-load freer than previous versions of the game.

 

The graphics have had a bit of an overhaul, too, but not in the direction you might think. With this being the first time the Prince is doing his – let’s be honest – crazy-ass stunt on the current gen consoles, it would be easy to assume that the game developers went for ultra realism graphically. They didn’t. Instead they opted for a more stylized, cel-shaded look that, while a little disconcerting at first, soon grows on you. And the game’s looks don’t suffer for it… this is a damn pretty game.

 

The long and the short of it – this is a good game. Don’t listen to the “hardcore” gamers out there, they’re idiots. If you enjoy almost effortless gaming that is a lot of fun, yet still possessed of a modicum of challenge and frustration, get this one. And get used to it. We’re gonna see a lot more games like this in future, mark my words.

Wake Up Call

I thought that maybe I would put this off to the New Year, that I would ease out of 2008 with a calm demeanour.  I thought I could hold my tongue and keep this little bit of bile behind my teeth until the 2008 Festive Season, with all its folly and frippery, has slid into the annals of history. I thought I could keep quiet, and not make the first post on this blog a nasty one.

I was wrong.

I  have a message to all the gamers out there, those people that refer to themselves as “hardcore” gamers, those that feel they drive the industry forward. That message is simple and elegant, and very direct. It reads as follows: WAKE THE FUCK UP!

I visit a lot of video game related websites, and I am seeing a trend that really grinds my nuts. That trend is to lambaste any game that is even moderately consumer-oriented. Even the slightest step towards something that is a bit friendlier to the man in the street gets blasted. Why? Because it’s not “hardcore” enough. Because it’s not complex enough. Because it doesn’t fit into the ridiculous elitist mould that these “hardcore” gamers have carved for themselves out of apathy, inaction and self-importance. Games that should be getting decent reviews* (if not excellent reviews) are getting slated by these… people… because they appeal to a market that is less skillful at gaming. It doesn’t matter that they are enjoyable, oh no, because no “hardcore” gamer is happy unless he is twisting his thumbs in contortionist motions to get all the buttons he needs to to jump from one platform from another. According to these nitwits, it seems, a game is only fun if it is difficult, near impossible to control, and excludes the majority of the people on the planet.

Folks, here is a turth for you, an undeniable truth that you should get to grips with. The video gaming industry the world over is a business, and when people go into business, they want to make money. They don’t give a rat’s ass about a whining minority that will as likely illegally download a game as buy it. They are after the far greater amounts of money that resides in the pockets of people that aren’t “hardcore”. People that buy games, not steal them. People that don’t whine when their little bit of instant gratification has been simplified to a friendlier level. People are happy to simply enjoy the experience of a game.

The world is changing, oh “hardcore” gamer, and you need to adapt, or die.

Let me ask the “hardcore” gamers out there a question or five. Have you thought beyond tomorrow? Have you thought beyond next week? Have you, for even an instant, thought about what is good for the industry, rather than what is good for yourself? No, you haven’t. If you had, you would shut up about this. If you had, you would realise that the current stimulation of the video game industry through the creation of games that appeal to a wider audience is not only necessary for the industry’s growth, but also for the industry’s survival. If you had, for even one second, emerged from your egotistical, selfish little shell of geek-dom, you would have realised that the more casual gamers added today, the more “hardcore” gamers would be around tomorrow to demand the kind of complexity that you “need” to fulfill your fantasies of being the next great gaming hero. But no, instead of considering the greater good, you continue to whine and complain about a situation that doesn’t fit into your perfect little fantasy universe… you know, the one in which you are actually important, rather than a lazy bastard who never gets off the couch and thinks that playing LAN games counts as an actual social activity.

Games are supposed to be about fun, not complexity. Try and remember that. And try to think about the good of all for a change.

 

*By all means, if a game is crap, slate it. But be fair, for a change. trying to prove what a super-journalist you are by indicating that you are a bad-ass is not a good approach, trust me.